Joycean Immitation (EC)

Disclaimer: I wrote this trying to be as verbose and over the top as possible. It's probably more straightforward if you follow the one-legged sailor's portion of "Wandering Rocks" on pg. 225. Enjoy.

Colin Rice
James Joyce Imitation
One Legged Sailor
“Wandering Rocks” pg. 225


COMPLEO PER UNUS CRUR POSEIDON
Bitterness engulfed the tripodic frame of the former man, clutching and grumbling along the raindropslickened path ahead. Unpatriotic, ungrateful for green Erie, the Union Jack fastened prominently beneath his grizzled brow, he plodded fourth into the unaccepting gaze protruding outward from Larry O’Rourke. Insolvent, garmentdevouring Katey and Boody gaze upon the sailor’s mangled shell of humanity, to which he grunts:
-home and beauty.
The slight glint of copper caught the sailor’s bloodshot, imagediffusing eye. The copper fell gracefully into the nonglinting basin of the sailor’s hat, a stout woman’s act of abject pity. Faint lyrics danced upon the sailor’s innerear, from outside or in he could not tell.

-I'm a rambler, I'm a gambler,
-I'm a long way from home
-And if you don't like me,
-Well, leave me alone
-I'll eat when I'm hungry,
-I'll drink when I'm dry
-And if moonshine don't kill me,
-I'll live til I die

Luxury of candy affronted him, waste and innecessity gleaming, children of fortune standing twofooted beside the shoddy replacement he flaunted as a leg. Hasty convulsions of transport carried the sailor beyond the spectacle, to which he muttered behind
-home and beauty.
Windy lyrics continued to perform on the woodwinds of his mind as he thrust the blocks and Pubs past, ending at a point. A houseportal’s undergarment gave way and yielded a bit of parchment preaching the flat’s nakedness, fluttering downward into the sailor’s gaze.
Out from within the housportal protruded the fleshy upperappendage, fastened to a colorabsent petticoat. The sailor’s pitiful magnetism drew from the aboveground arm yet another metallic saucer of currency, cast upandover the railing toward the saturated pavement.
That which appears to be self indulgent may too present the façade of generosity. The candystickened little mongrels who previously had bestowed glances of horror towards the limbdeformed sailor now scurry to the coin lying flaccid on the moistened path. The sailor’s headcovering, made into a receptacle, now received the misguided funds from above, to which he heard:
-There, sir.
OMPHALOS